Week 30

Karlie was striving for better. For the past two weeks she'd run under the philosophy that Stress+Summer+her Period= Smores, and she fully expected it to bite her in the butt when she weighted in. However, it hadn't been as bad as she had expected, up only point six. Still it was time to get back on track and do better. And considering the smores, better wasn't a lot to ask of herself.

She'd fallen off the waggon hard, going through two six packs of Hershey bars in about a week and a half. She didn't have any excuse other than she wanted them, but now was a time for progress.

Karlie was tired of working herself silly at a job that wasn't paying what she was worth and cutting hours left and right. It wasn't the work though. It was wondering when she'd have a weekend off, or weather or not she'd have a holiday off to she her mom. She liked the people she worked with, she even liked her boss. she just wasn't making enough or getting enough time.

She'd applied for a position at the university on a whim just because it provided all the things she'd been complaining about plus a $3.65 per hour pay increase. But looking at the posting now she was more terrified that she'd get an interview than excited. She realized that she should have read more thoroughly and quite possibly made the same mistake a second time, getting all excited about an opportunity then discovering it's more than she bargained for.

Her life felt constricted, stifled, and stuck. She wasn't sure how to go about getting her masers degree, her mom was slowly dieing, and her boyfriend was taking his time moving their three year relationship to the next step. She felt like she had very little control over anything. She was trying to do the right thing by everyone. She just didn't know what the right thing to do by herself was. What she wanted was for her mother to be fine. What she wanted was for Stewart to go where she could go to school. What she wanted was for him to say, "screw our circumstances merry me." But that wasn't how things were gonna go.

Looking out form her deli window she stared toward the bakery. Nope, that's too easy she thought.